Monday, April 20, 2015

Has th Ghost left the still? (aka Why I haven't been reviewing)

What Good is a blog if you don't spill your guts to it every once in a blue moon? I'm not going to apologize for my absents but I will apologize for lack of reviews. My lack of reviews are not for lack of reading exactly as of this post I've read seven books, nine comics, and six manga, Currently reading one book with seven manga on the way. 

My lack of reviews comes from lack of what to say, or if I have something to say pushing it till I eaither forget to do it or become busy with other things. I think though mostly I've been pulling away from reviewing do to just life. I've gotten Diagnoised, gotten pysical health taken care of and still have a lot more to do a lot of which has nothing to very little to do with book reviewing. Much of my lack of reviews are lack of what to say primilarly the sooner I can come up with something to say the sooner I can review.

For now however if you want to keep in the loop of what I am up to you can check out my other blogs 

http://myemotionsandi.blogspot.com/

http://linknotebook.blogspot.com/

Friday, February 20, 2015

Even heros fall but then they get back up Fan fiction

 
Disclaimer

I wrote this whole story with my left hand only
It's OOC and fourth wall breaking and meant to cheer me up and keep my spirts up in bad times over this
I know this is not a good story


I hated heights, staring down at the drop below me I remembered something I read on an anxiety site once of someone else whom being sick of life thought he'd die of a heart attack before he dropped into the water. My right hand gripping the rail stung, for a week my hand was hurting and I could do very little about it. With out use of my right hand I was depressed combined with stomach pain that was lasting me for far to long. Thats why I found myself standing on the other side of a guard rail on a building in NYC. “its not worth it” I turned to see Mr.Banner coming towards me. Bruce Banner also known as THE HULK was a superhero and part time professor and doctor. I wasn't in school so I never had him as a teacher even if I was in school it would only be online and I still wouldn't have him as a teacher. I turned my back to the fall I also let my right hand dangle he slowed his pace but started talking. “It be a shame if I hulked out right here to try and catch you if you fell” by fall he meant jumped I know he did and he was right but I stayed quite “You know who I am yes?” he should have started with that first “Bruce banner, Also know as The Hulk I know of you well” a slight lie I knew his story second hand from online reviwer's, movies, and my boyfriend. He nodded at the rail now he leaned on it and looked at me. “Then finish this for me “You want me killed but you can't. I know I tried” what do I say next?” I knew the line well seeing as marvel movies gave me soulice in my dark moments up to this point “I got low I couldn't see a way out so I put a bullet in my mouth and the green guy spat it back out” he nodded rolling his finger for me to keep going “so I ran decided to make something of myself helping people” he smiled a tight smile “not quite but thats good” I let my left hand drop balancing just slightly. He made a grab for me just as I moved my body pushing off eyes closed. I dropped like a stone hitting something hard and felt arms around me I opened my eyes “God?” “not quite kid though if Thor was the one that cought you you would have been half right” Tony Starks voice I looked into his iron man mask I haden't even fallen a story when he cought me like a trip on the pavement.

He flew me back up to Banner “So whats eating you kid?” Tony took his helment off to look at me. So I explained crying as I did so about everything from my right hand and inablity to create no matter how short term it was, my depression, my physical aliments. “Well if you know Mr. Big green and angry over there then you know me as well” he gave a smile and I nodded admitting I had only seen the second movie and the avengers “I suffer from panic attacks and PTSD” he said this nonchalantly “I think you'd do well to watch how I got back up again” I knew what he meant in movie three he loses everything if I remember from the tumblr post it said he lost his home, his contacts with the people he cares for most, and his suit “Hey banner whats it called when hero's like us fall to our lowest point?” it was a rhetorical question but Mr.Banner answered “ Heroic BSOD or Blue screen of death” Mr. Banner pointed out. Tony shrugged nodding “known as a nervous breakdown in real life, but we don't let that stop us for long do we?” Mr. Banner shook his head I was starting to get the picture “I get it so what do I do now?” “Drink, arson, breaking into shield's top secret files...” Tony mused with a bemused look on his face. Banner facepalmed and laughed “or Tony she could focus on the things she can do in this situation for example type with her left hand,strengthen both her hands, watch a movie, read books, find a point in the situation that she can change” I nodded “She can start with watching Iron Man III and take this” Tony handed me a keychain of himself “ to remind yourself that even hero's can fall low” I looked over to see Banner reach into his pocket and push something into my other hand “but that we also get back up again” a mini hulk keychain rest in my other hand “So movie Banners place how about it?” Tony suggested. We laughed and talked on the way back down.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Taking a break

 “Okay....you have a point but this is consuming your life and you are being really mean and nasty with these call out journals and posts. you keep on telling me that you don't like drama but you are creating it my dear. You said there is nothing more we can do because the admins don't care...and so u said why should you care anymore.

You are just spiraling out of control and I'm worried about you....”



I woke up this morning and read a book. For many this doesn't seem like much but for me who for the past three years and a month would wake up and go right to the computer, right to the “what messeges are waiting for me?” “anything from Dormouse?” “any new drama crop up?” this was a step back into a me I remember enjoying who'd wake up and instead of hitting the power button would pick up her latest read in anticipation of what would happen next.

Thats why I've decided to take a month off of whatever website I can or when I can. This means:

Tumblr
I don't need to be on tumblr, not really, with OUAT in hiatus there isn't much but the temptation of one users blog, I'm thinking back to when it was MIA in the month of november and really the only thing I was happy about getting back on tumblr was the art, the personal tips, and the anti-anxiety happy stuff.
Now it feels heavy, overwhelming, and almost boring at times, I think if I separate myself from It a bit I'll be less attention seeking after a while

Facebook
I need facebook to talk to many of my awesome people, But my going on durning library hours to vent about how insulting a 14/15 year old online is, or to play games, or look though posts I need to cut that out and only go on when I have something bookish to say (fawning over a NEW book by haper lee is library work after all) and in the mean time I need to keep it up when I know BF will be around but other wise should take the time to work on other projects

Diveantart
This site is my biggest enabler of drama sad thing is its so easy. Easy to find, easy to keep going, easy to get into. I'm going to have to try harder at keeping away from this site or at least make it a get in and get out mission for when I need refrences (see here: http://ghostlygoth98.deviantart.com/favourites/63659381/For-picture-ideas ) So if I can keep it to just using those, and then on sundays explore perhaps I'll get better.

I have a problom and I'm fully aware of it. But if I'm going to be a better person like my boyfriend is trying to be a better person for me then I need to get better, less depentend/addicted to the internet and drama. I'll need to break from the screen once I'm done with what I need or only go on sites when I need something (like refrences) I NEED to reinforce this I need to.

While I'm doing this you may see me sparcely or not at all on sites, you may hear from me at only some times and not like during the day. I need to work it out. I may be back to a normal schdual on this come March. But for the time being I'll try to do better and thats all I can really say
This may or may not effect reviews I need to get back to my love of books and reviewing books this will take a while I might have some small reviews coming though dunno

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Book Review: Adulting

 Adulting review

This book and I have a complicated relationship. That means this will be a long review but enjoyable to write. I Found a review for this book back in 2013 this book sounded like the kind of self help book I as a 22 year old trying to learn how to be independent needed so I borrowed this book from a library in September 2013, I got to page 108 before I had to return it to the library. I then put it on my christmas list and after a two month hiatus got the book. I continued reading in July of 2014. For those of you keeping tract I started in September 2013 then waited two months to get the book for christmas then waited another seven months to get back into seriously reading it. This book is not one you sit and read and review in a days time if you are one who is used to fiction, fantasy, and fast paste worlds. This is literally a self help your suppose to pick it up, flip to the section you need help in, and then put it back down. I wanted to read it from cover to end to be able to review it thoroughly.

This book is not a life saver it has its flaws. It doesn't in any compaction delve into mental health, it mentions it in the abstract “if your dating someone you should tell them” way but not in a “if you have anxiety this is how you deal with this”. Seeing as this book is not a self help on mental illness I can understand why it is worded the way it is but the issue comes at the segment “times were tough” in which the author writes on how to get though emergency situations the first is to remain cool. This is good advice for people who don't have anxiety. There are also other things such as how to be okay with being on your own again great for people who can in fact do so not so great for those of us who need at least one person around to feel sane and thus inlines one of the key issues with the book.
This book is aimed at able bodied, able minded, females. Nothing wrong with that but it does make it harder to use as a self help book. Secondly it doesn't address Long distance relationships in any compactity. I feel not only is this a waste but it also makes the “love” section irrelevant to some if not most. Not everyone who is dating is doing it in person 24/7, 365 days, a year. I would have liked some insight into LDR with the relationship advice but also would have liked it if dealing with Families wasn't the last thing in the book as for some of us Family drama hits closer then say a romantic relationship does.

However for it's flaws “Adulating” does well as a pick it up and use as need guide to being a 20 something and an adult,while I didn't find all of it helpful right in the moment I know I'll be using it as intended as a reference book in the very near future. It took me a Year to finish but it does well with what it teaches.


My Rating: 3 of 5

Monday, December 29, 2014

Top 15 reasons I'm Excited for 2015

 
Just about everything I'm going to list here could be seen as the # 1 reason almost none of them out weigh one or the other and all 15 reasons are equally important.




  1. All the books to read
    Not just all the books coming out but I'm also excited for all the books to read in general. 2014 was a good year for books but 2015 is the one we are all waiting on. Oblivion: A Nevermore Book (Nevermore #3) by Kelly Creagh, the fourth raven boys book. But I'm also excited to be going back and reading older ones like getting around to the “How to train your dragon” book series, continuing the Mercy Thompson series, finishing series like he demons lexicon trilogy, or the crusaders trilogy as well. So many books I can't wait to start. So many series to finish or begin. (I plan on making a list of there own for this



  1. Being Diagnosed
Something you don't know about me but I have anxious moments. Sometimes they are light sometimes they are crippling but they are always there. This is why I'm so up and down sometimes reading and posting like crazy and other times not feeling like doing anything. In early 2015 this will change I'll finally have a name to these (GAD, Bipolar, OCD, depression, etc) and maybe finally have a way to combat the worst days and make better of the good ones. This is something I'm highly excited about just due to how it'll change my life for the better even if I get nothing more then a title for my nature it's better then nothing



  1. Getting my christmas present from my partner & Spending yet another year together
Oh the Joy of long distance relationships. Me and Dormouse have been together for about two years now. With 2015 coming up this also means I get to spend another year with him online, I have someone who has my back and thats what matters, I plan on getting more in touch with how to go though a LDR and perhaps work towards a small -cough- goal of seeing each other for my 25th birthday. We have a mighty year ahead of us both needing dental work, both finding ourselves things like that. However what will make the year much better is getting my christmas present in early 2015 <3 a="" about="" and="" as="" be="" blog="" but="" can="" feel="" font="" for="" get="" getting="" got="" hang="" he="" him="" i="" it="" ldr="" ll="" me="" money="" my="" not="" on="" only="" over="" plan="" post="" posting="" see="" seriously="" sure="" t="" that="" to="" u.="" up="" wait="" what="" wii="">



  1. Trying new to me anime and continuing ones I started this year
Anime. I used to be the biggest anime watcher, and then anime dwindled, I recently found anime on hulu and with that I plan on watching more. I've been adoring Sailor moon Crystal like really really eating it up, Do to being more open minded now then I was back in my serious anime days I also plan on watching anime I used to go “ew” about such as “Marie watches over us” and see how I enjoy that I might also see if I can find Card captors sakura in sub or another cutesy anime. I'm really excited to get back to my anime loving self <3 font="">


  1. More artwork to create
As seen above 2014 was not my most artistic productive year nearing the end. But now? Now I have so many projects and ideas. Such as Vampire belle, drawning my vampires in modern clothes, drawning a whole bunch of fan art, drawning so many characters in so many styles. I have about 102 picture ideas and so many more to come based around ideas like the sheep magical girl and the goat boy (idea by http://rulesofthereallifemagicalgirl.tumblr.com/ ) So yeah I'm supper excited to start drawing again



  1. Getting back into “Dollography”
I haven't taken a picture of my dolls since reviewing invia-billy and then all he's done is stand on my book shelf for nine months, with getting two new dolls, a hand full of LPS and having a 20 pony collection of MLP blind bag ponies I thought it was time to give them there due. Time to get back into photography time to dress them up time to be fancy and fun.




  1. All my TV shows coming off of hiatus
This one is self explanatory but I Love once upon a time, I can't wait to get back into defiance, I love my shows and the OUAT fandom and it will be fun to have TV dates with Dormouse again I miss those


  1. All the fanfiction to write
2014 was a start of fanfiction writing for me. I started with two short danny phantom fictions and tried to go further with another which flopped each time (I think I tried to write it three times?) however out of that came my realization of how fun it is to write and read fanfiction again. I have about nine different ideas including a OUAT christmas carol, rewriting and making my “twin souls” DP fanfiction longer, reworking the “Sam with a girlfriend” DP plot idea, as well as one with the magical girl dream sheep and nightmare goat boy (idea by http://rulesofthereallifemagicalgirl.tumblr.com/ ) like with the art I'm excited about these projects and can't wait to work on them. As well as having my own orginal works to work on.



  1. Focusing on my physcial and mental health
Church, Computer, TV, grandmas, Out and about possibly shopping, computer, Library work, computer, TV shows, computer, computer, library work, computer, computer, This is my sunday to sunday routine. Do you notice anything? Seven days a week 365 days I'm on my computer. I'm on my computer more then I do anything else more then art, reading, crocheting, archery, I'm on my machine.
I have a schedule written out in which I take my 9:00-11:45 day and only 6 hours of that day is for my computer in one way or the other. I need to get off my computer more I'm addicted and am aware of that I hope to fix my computer bingeing. This will help with my mental health as well as my physical health both are things I worry about often due to all this computer usage. Being a big selfish and focusing more on me might actually help me be better. I'm so worried about what everyone else thinks and does I never apply that to myself. I need to get out of my dingy room with just a laptop and really focus on my health





  1. Finding my spirituality
I've recently be questioning my relgion, in 2015 I really want to crank it up a notch and find my beliefs and spirituality outside of the church



  1. Spring cleaning/redecorating my living space
I've spent a year in a mess not liking my room, not liking my living space that is my room. So I plan on cleaning and orgnizing and maybe getting some pictures on my wall since they are so blank, as well as getting better more happy lighting

  1. Remaking my blogs
See here for those plans, but I'm excited to be part of things, fandoms, OUAT the sheep girl and goat boy which may or may not be named Yoi yume o the sheep magical girl creation fandom is in the making.

  1. Sewing and crocheting more
Having a scarf project to work on for my dormouse made me happy and kept me busy as well as off the computer for a bit, I want to try making a hat to go with his scarf maybe I've always loved the idea of making a hat. And as for sewing I have so much materiel and so many ideas written down and dolls to sew for.
  1. Being able to say “I got that done”
I possibly have to get a physcial, and defently have to get my wisdom teeth removed and while I'm NOT in anyway excited for this I'll be happy to finally say “okay got my wisdom teeth out” or “okay got blood work done” it's scary, anxiety or panic inducing, but I know it just means one more step towards being with Dormouse in person and being an adult.

15. Getting a Job
I need a job, and while a job it's self is scary and anxiety inducing making money might help me with my hang up on money as well if I have it coming in more regularly




Sunday, December 28, 2014

Troo DNF overview



I was introduced to this series by someone on an art website. The show is in polish with no subtitles at all. I went into it knowing that and hoping that perhaps the show would still be able to be watchable even with out the dialog or understanding the dialog. I made it to episode 12 before I called it quits on this 24 episode ride. 

I think this is a show that if you understand polish could be very...well no you'd be able to make sense of it much more but good isn't what this is. Sloppy animation, reused walking reels, reused facial expressions, and a plot that seems to jump everywhere. Making sense of this with out knowning polish is like trying to teach a fish to fly, you think its going one way but then something happens and it goes another, you think its about and emo boy moving to a new town then its about drugs then its about these creeps then its about what?. However for what it is there are clips in there that make it feel almost like a really bizzar music video  and perhaps thats part of why I kept watching with out sound it was like a really bizzar music video that I was hoping would pick up but never did. 

This is dialog heavy as such you know not polish? you outta luck. 
However for all its worth I know I won't forget about this little strange animation and I plan on drawing fanart of said strangeness soon

Saturday, December 27, 2014

What will become of my Blogs and sites in 2015


deviantart.com: “Ghostlygoth98” My plan will be to post meme's and artwork if the artwork is for Marieangel04, or practice in scraps only otherwise meme's and ID's, I plan on going though my meme stash and no longer post ones that have to do with screencaps

wysp.ws: Purplewolf91212 this is where most of my art work will be but only stuff I'm really happy with in one compasity or another

Wolfpups91212 blog: I won't link to this one but this will be one for when I have a relgious or spirtial awkaing or if I just don't feel comfertable posting about it on my other blogs since this one is privet in the way of you need to be a member of the site, and a girl,

ateporaryblog: My Top hiccup research blog, using to be able to draw a Dom, manly, top hiccup, once the pictures are drawn I'll most likely delete this one and it will not be going to much further into 2015

musicalreblogs: Keeping this one and no real changes my blog for when I reblog music

kittyearscuriosity: My Private and personal blog, no real changes, will be keeping and keep going with it as is

foreverandalwaysart: Keeping as my art reblog blog no real changes

fairytalesandfeathers: This is the blog that is going to go under the most construction, I plan on keeping it like its name light and joyful, I plan on posting my fan art here as well as rebloging/posting OUAT related things, HTTYD, related things, MH related things etc etc, fandom things. I'm keeping it a fandom blog with fandom things and not a phtography blog anymore

Today I feel/myemotionsandi: I plan on keeping and keeping up with this blog, I find while hard to remember on a good day this blog helps me out on my bad days a lot and I would love to get in depth with it and really keep up with it.

Creativefantasies: One of the most neglected blogs I've made which I plan on changing And making it more happy and friendly and posting more, perhaps some phtography, perhaps some art, musings on things I'll see what I can make of this blog.

ghostofthestill: My much neglected book review blog as of this year I've only posted about 17 book reviews I also tired to make them fancy and name then fancy things. For 2015 I plan on reading more books, reviewing more books, and keeping up with this site more and really setting aside time for my blog because I DO enjoy making book reivews I do enjoy talking about shows, books, movies, I just don't keep up with linking as much as I should

IATBOG/thisisnotthewebsiteyouarelooking: This website I made for my partner's characters for I think his birthday, he didn't seem to thrilled by it and I've been neglecting the poor site for 8 months now, I'm considering weather or not to really keep it but I'll perhaps play with it more on and off in the up coming year.

Stepping stones (Artisticrecovery)/ steppingoutoftheshadow: This website I made has been a life saver and now that I have it fixed up with the galleries I plan on not only keeping but expanding this more. It still needs a cover page, and for me to fix the “it's a work in progress” description, but I am dentally going to keep this up in 2015 and keep up with it better in 2015

untitled/bigeyedcutethingsphotgraphy: A recently made website for my photography as of 12/26/14 I haven't been doing much photography, Recently got a bunch of MLP, LPS, and MH dolls/toys so I figured why not make a website specificity for my photography? I very rarely look at my own photos after I take them so I hope having a site of its own (that won't turn into a drama bomb) will help motivate me to take photos and craft for said dolls more.